he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
