I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
