I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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