dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
