i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
