im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
honey bunches of taint.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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