watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize