RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
