you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think your dad took our porno
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
