my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
