They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize