In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
