Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
