Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
