We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
