I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
