brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
