she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
