Nicole vs. Life
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
