Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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