conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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