drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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