I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
