Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need to calm my uterus...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
