Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
