I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
