If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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