you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
