respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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