I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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