Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
