I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize