never play flip cup with pint glasses
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
