I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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