Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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