I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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