Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize