I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
