It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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