I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Randomize