my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
