# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
