I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
