i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize