like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
