I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
