Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
