So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
