did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
