a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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