You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
