We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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