True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
its not stalking. its research.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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