My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
