Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
