i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
