i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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