thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
