Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
