I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Terrible idea I love it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
