I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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