so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
