Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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