Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
