im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
