38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
