Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
