My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
